Rephrasing statements positively has worked a treat in our house.
Rephrasing statements positively is about working with a child to achieve the desired outcomes. This often eliminates stress for children & parents.
I've often found that there are plenty of opportunities in life to say 'no' to my children each day. Does this sound familiar in your home?
"No, you cannot have ice-cream because you haven't eaten your vegetables."
"No, you cannot go outside to play because you haven't put your toys away."
"No, we can't read this story. It's time for bed."
I've been trying to rephrase these negative statements into positive phrases. This doesn't mean I'm giving my children every wish/demand their heart's desire. That, I'm sure, would end in tears (both theirs and mine!). It's about rephrasing things positively, wherever possible.
"Yes, you can have ice-cream after you've finished your vegetables."
"Yes, you may go outside and play as soon as you've picked up your toys."
"Yes, we will read this story as soon as you wake up in the morning."
When I've used the yes-you-may-after-statements, I've found my children respond more positively.
True, we all need to understand that we can't do what we want when we want to. There are definitely times when what we want is not in our best interests and the answer is 'no' regardless.
However, it's so easy to fill the day with 'no, no, no...' when the same results (without the negative emotional outbursts) can be achieved in a positive way in which everyone is feeling more uplifted and empowered.
One of the reasons I love using these statements is that they take the argument out of the situations. The responsibility for something occurring is placed back on the child. Children are empowered and responsible for whether or not something they want happens.
When children know they can do something, they're more inclined to fulfil the 'conditions' in order to do/obtain what they want. At least, that's what I've found.
Do you agree? I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
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